


Two Breaths of Forever

by Teese



Category: Ylvis
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, M/M, Sibling Incest, Taboo, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-25
Updated: 2016-03-25
Packaged: 2018-05-29 00:00:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6350827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Teese/pseuds/Teese
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the aftermath of a tragic event, Vegard seeks out solitude in the forest. He is depressed and emotionally drained, and he is on a secret mission. In the end, he is alone and forlorn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two Breaths of Forever

**Author's Note:**

> This story has been brewing in the back of my mind for some time. It is dark and could be upsetting to some, but I don’t want to reveal too much… 
> 
> The parts written in cursive are flashbacks. 
> 
> Please enjoy! :D

It was early September and the woodland floor was brimming with ripe berries, offering the tired wanderer some comfort as he plodded trough the unruly terrain. Autumns leaves brought a change of colour to the trees. The dark-haired man was oftentimes delayed by the marvellous display of colours, his deep brown eyes glued to the landscape as well as the cloudless blue of the sky. The world around him was busy with the sounds of chirping birds and the soft breeze of the wind, too busy to mind his presence in the forest amidst the brown, the orange and the green. In this world, his identity was solely that of his humanity, a fact which made him feel liberated.

Darkness soon fell over the forest, cloaking it and all of its inhabitants in a veil of mysterious night. By then, the man had put up his tent and was enjoying a simple meal, his legs stretched out in front of him and his left hand resting on his thigh.

“Mm!” he spluttered, spitting out a mouthful of too hot stew. He muttered curse words into the night and took a sip out of his beer, annoyed with himself. And in just that moment, his mobile phone started vibrating, signalling that someone wanted his attention. He didn’t even need to look at the screen, he already knew. As much as he didn’t want to answer, he tapped on the screen and squeezed his eyes shut.

“… Vegard?”

He held the phone in front of his face and dared to sneak a peek at the image on the screen – that beautiful smile that took up his entire world. It brought tears to his eyes – tears for no one to see.

“I know you’re there, dickhead,” the sweet voice said, a strained edge to it, and then: “Answer me!”

Vegard ended the call and put the phone down, cradling it in his hands. Salty drops trickled down his cheeks – a wave of helplessness washing over him. Even so, he couldn’t be bothered to brush them away, not when he was invisible and concealed in a world of black. His eyes were drawn to the starry sky though – his lips parted in an endless sigh.

“… I can’t,” was all he said and then gulped down the rest of his beer. He crawled into the tent and allowed for the night to swallow him completely; his sleep restless as he knew that there wasn’t a way back again.

  _Vegard had never been anything but a brother to Bård in all the sixteen years they had shared as siblings. He had never foreseen that their platonic love for each other would melt into something else – into thoughts that, at that point, were as dangerous as the alluring and forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden. It was equally sinful too, though not in a religious manner. Above all, it felt like madness._

_Vegard, being in the army, had been away from the family home in Bergen for months on end. Upon his return that summer, everything in Bergen had changed. Calle was occupied with ‘Raske menn’, his father’s hair was thinning and Bård – the once scrawny teenager with protruding ears – had grown taller than him. He was still skinny, but not in an unflattering manner, and his hair had grown out and wreathed his face beautifully. Vegard was absolutely bereft of speech – his lips parted in a particularly uncomplimentary expression._

_“What’s wrong with your face?” Bård teased, though his eyes revealed some uncertainty – cracks in his otherwise confident attitude. “And stop staring, it’s creeping me out.”_

_Vegard felt a blush inching up his face. “Don’t be so smug,” he said and smacked him on the head in a rather playful manner. The feeling of blonde locks against his palm felt nice. He missed it as soon as he withdrew his hand, a fact he couldn’t quite understand._

_“You look so mature…” he thought out loud. “I almost don’t recognise you.”_

_It wasn’t the whole truth though. As he studied the sixteen-year-old with curious eyes, he found those same freckles on his face – the same boyish smile._

_“I know. Must be hard on you, old man.”_

_Vegard let out a snort, pretending that he had felt offended by the words. “Oh yeah? At least I’ve had a girl…”_

_The curly-haired man wasn’t sure why he had just said that, and he was inwardly cursing, knowing it hadn’t been fair. He looked at his brother from the corner of his eye, pretending that he had asked that question without ulterior motives. Bård’s face had darkened at the blunt statement. Something about his eyes revealed that he felt uncomfortable._

_“I’ve had girls, Vegard,” he whispered and lowered his gaze. “I’ve had them, but…”_

_Vegard felt his insides twisting and turning unpleasantly, not sure he liked where the conversation was heading. He put his hand on Bård’s shoulder, squeezing it in what he hoped was a comforting manner._

_“Hey,” he said and offered his baby brother a smile. “I was only joking.”_

_Bård gave him a long, undefinable look before cracking a smile. “All I meant to say is that I’m the good-looking one.”_

_“Well, we both know you aren’t the smart one,” the dark-haired one chuckled in reply._

_The evening had continued like that. They had, for the first time, had a few beers together and had conversations about everything and nothing. And when Bård averted his attention, Vegard would sneak secret little glances in Bård’s direction, and he’d marvel at how beautiful Bård had become._

 

Vegard woke up to the sounds of nature, to the wind toying with the autumn foliage and the birds chirping. He closed his eyes for the longest time while he dreaded the unavoidable. He fumbled for his phone and quickly glanced down at the screen. What he saw immediately made him feel ill, and he rushed out of the tent and hunched over by a tree, emptying his stomach onto the forest floor. In the end he was merely retching, his stomach void of any contents.

When the sickness had subsided, Vegard felt well enough to eat and had a slice of bread and some coffee. As he sat there, watching the clouds as they drifted by, he felt peaceful. It lasted only for a brief moment because as soon as his thoughts wandered to his family – his wife and three kids – he felt his heart shatter into a million little pieces. While he didn’t love his wife and was aware that she had a lover, he adored the family they had together. No child deserved to grow up carrying the burdens of their parents on their shoulders, and this particular burden was particularly twisted. But he had never made a decision to be cruel – he had only made decisions based on what he felt was right. While he had been both young and heedless back then, the decision still wasn’t something he regretted. He knew within himself that it wasn’t a sin – it was love.

_“What happened?”_

_Bård sat with his arms around his knees on the bed, his eyes focusing on the whiteness of the ceiling rather than his brother’s worried eyes. There weren’t any tears left in his own eyes, though it was evident he’d been crying, seeing how puffy his cheeks were. He knew that Vegard knew how torturous it was to be seen in such a position, how vulnerable it felt. Eye contact wasn’t an option._

_“I broke up with her,” he said, his voice monotone and void of emotion, thus making it impossible to decipher. Vegard sat down on the bed next to Bård, not certain of how to proceed. He hadn’t had his heart properly shattered before, most likely due to the fact that he hadn’t been properly in love with any girl before._

_“… What happened?” he asked, unaware that he had repeated the question. Bård just shook his head._

_“You know that party I went to… last weekend,” he said and it hadn’t been a question as much as a sign of his hesitancy about revealing some horrible misdeed. “I-I… I wasn’t drunk- had one beer… but this guy, a bit tipsy maybe, came over and…”_

_All colour drained out of Vegard’s face, worried about how the story would end. “… And?”_

_“And-and,” he stammered and then paused, gazing up at Vegard’s face for the first time that evening. “He was really nice! We got along really well and suddenly we were outside, and… suddenly we were making out.”_

_Bård had once again lowered his gaze. He was biting the insides of his cheeks so hard he could taste blood in his mouth, his hands gripping onto the soft duvet. “I’ve never… not since, well, not since the cabin… but suddenly all the pieces came together, y’know?”_

_“… No, I don’t,” the dark-haired man whispered, but mostly to himself. More than anything, he wanted to flee from the room and scream until all the air in his lungs was gone._

_“… Vegard?” Bård’s voice was trembling with emotion, sadness written all over his face._

_“So, now you’re with that… that guy?”_

_Bård frowned at the question. “What, no,” he said and then just sat there shaking his head for a while, muttering unintelligible words under his breath as he attempted to keep the tears at bay. When he returned his attention to his brother, his lower lip wasn’t quavering anymore._

_“Don’t you get it… the way we look at each other… the way you ramble on about how fucking pretty I am every goddamn time you get some alcohol in you… and that one time-“_

_“No, I don’t,” Vegard whispered, thoughts swirling through his brain like the deadliest arrows. “I-I can’t, Bård… we’re brothers,” he reasoned, but Bård wouldn’t have it. He had done too much pretending in his life, told too many lies and kissed too many girls, all because he needed to be normal. But what good was normalcy if it made him miserable?_

_Bård forcefully cupped Vegard’s cheek and pulled him closer, slamming their lips together in a kiss that was all but natural. The awkwardness and the abruptness alike had the older brother yelping, nearly falling off the bed in outright horror. They stared at one another for the longest thirty seconds imaginable, both of them breathing heavily, their hearts galloping._

_“… T-that can’t happen,” Vegard finally stuttered, breaking the silence. The air was thick with tension._

_Bård shook his head again, inaudible tears running down his face once more. “… I wish I was dead right now,” he then whispered. There was an honesty in that statement that was rare when it came to the younger of the two, an honesty that touched something inside of the brown-eyed man. He moved to sit next to the blonde on the bed again, this time running his hand through that golden mane of his. It was as soft as he remembered, and the touch filled him with a profound sense of happiness – of belonging._

_“We’ll be living a lie,” Vegard simply stated, his hand still caressing soft waves of hair. “And if anyone finds out… well, I don’t even need to tell you what would happen to us.”_

_“But it’s worth it,” Bård argued, his blue eyes staring at Vegard with renewed hope. “I’m so sick of pretending, Vegard… pretending to be happy… you- you make me happy.”_

_The heartfelt admittance sent little shivers down Vegard’s spine. He rested his head against the wall and heaved a sigh, his eyelids closed. If he were to open his eyes once more – to face the ugly beauty that laced their moment of honesty – he would shed tears of grievance, but of relief all the same._

_“Do you remember,” Bård said, “when we went to the cabin last summer?”_

_Vegard, eyes still closed, wrinkled his forehead, though in recognition rather than confusion. “I do…”_

_The memories from that weekend were some of his fondest possessions. He had clung onto them many times when the storm of his life had overwhelmed him, and while he was shameful, he couldn’t lie to himself and say that he regretted it._

_“When you kissed me-“_

_“You kissed me,” Vegard snorted and yet couldn’t conceal his smile. “And we were positively drunk out of our minds.”_

_“Fine, whatever,” Bård huffed and rolled his eyes. “It’s still the best damn thing that’s ever happened to me.”_

_Vegard opened his eyes then, unable to resist the toothy grin that was certain to meet his eyes. A lonely tear trailed down his cheek. “I know,” he whispered, reaching his hand out and taking a lock of blonde, wavy hair between his fingers. He was close enough to feel his brother’s warmth, to smell his soap, his skin and hair. “I’ve wanted to touch you like this every day since…”_

_Bård weaved their hands together, his body trembling a little. When Vegard looked him in the eyes, he saw that a pensive look had overtaken his face. An unspoken pact was created between them – one that sealed their secret._

_“I want every day to be like that,” the blonde admitted, a slight blush creeping up his face._

_“I know,” Vegard whispered in response, squeezing Bård’s hand reassuringly._

_They both thought about those days they had spent at the cabin – about that first kiss that still made them blush. Those days had been everything, but they hadn’t been able to admit that back then. The reality of going home to their parents had hit them too hard. Once they had returned from the cabin, they had never mentioned the kisses or the fondling again. They had returned to normal and behaved as if it hadn’t happened – as if they were merely brothers. Bård had resumed to Maria – Vegard to the army. Now they had torn down the walls again, liberating the love that had resided within._

_“Kiss me,” Bård whispered. “And kiss me tomorrow, and every day after…”_

 

Vegard had wept many bitter tears that day. His phone wouldn’t offer him any peace. There was an endless stream of texts from his parents and two brothers, all of them making him less steady on his feet and heavier in his chest. They wanted him back, and god knows Vegard wanted to oblige. Had it been an option, he would have walked back to civilisation, and he would have continued to live his life and he would have been thankful. It wasn’t an option – it was a fantasy.

Evening came. The forest floor was cold and it was windy, making it difficult to keep the fire going. In the end, Vegard felt too tired to deal with it – too sick to his stomach to have dinner and too sad to remain awake. He fled to the safety of the tent, and he closed his eyes and waited for the sandman, but he never came.

“Fucking hell,” he muttered to himself, feeling the temperature dropping even lower. He pulled out a big blanket from his rucksack and wrapped his trembling body in it, hoping that he wouldn’t freeze to death. As he sat there, cold and miserable, he noticed that the rucksack had tipped over and one item, a jewel box, had fallen out. For a moment, he just stared at the thing. It had been his treasure chest as a child, and he had put everything from special rocks to pornographic images in there. Now it was home to more special things.

“… I miss you,” he whispered and had to will away fresh tears he didn’t have the energy to shed.    

He opened the small jewel box and fished out a possibly antique silver locket, studying it intently before opening it. Inside was a small photo that had become yellow with age – a photo of him and Bård. He was maybe around ten and Bård six, both of them grinning while holding up the catch of the day. They had oftentimes gone fishing, and once they got a bit older, Vegard always had to deal with the fish after. Bård didn’t want to touch the smelly, scaly things with his hands, thus he refused to gut them. Vegard hadn’t been too bothered by it back then, but later in life, he had questioned why Bård would go fishing with him when he absolutely despised fish.

Vegard caressed the small picture before closing the small case, placing the chain around his neck and tucked the locket safely inside his sweater – against his skin.

_“Take it,” his grandmother said, putting the silver locket in his hand and closed it with her own. “Take it and keep what you value the most inside.”_

_“But granny…” Vegard hesitated. “I can’t accept this… you wear it-“_

_“Every day,” she said and looked out the window, her eyes filled with a rare kind of weariness. “It was a present from your granddad on our first anniversary,” she said and then chuckled, her eyes glinting with the fondness she carried within her heart. “And I have worn it every day since… but now I pass it on to you.”_

_She let go of his hand and he weighed the silver necklace in his palm, feeling the weight of its years as he held it - the weight of the love it carried. He opened it and was surprised to find that the ‘secret’ it had kept hidden was gone. The locket was sadly devoid of the picture of his grandfather cradling his mother in his arms. They had taken the picture shortly after her birth, and the smile on his grandfather’s face was the epitome of fatherly love._

_“I don’t need it anymore,” she said and smiled calmly, accepting that the sands of time were running out._    

He was glad his grandmother wasn’t alive to see what had become of her gift, and he could only imagine the nightmarish hell their parents now had to endure. The picture of him and Bård and the two brown trouts was on display in their living room. Perhaps they were looking at it too, remembering a simpler time.  

Pictures of all three of them adorned every wall of their childhood home – pictures of innocent youth. Such days had become memories of old, memories he treasured and brought along with him in all that he did. And with Bård next to him, it was difficult to forget, even if the boy had become a man. That smile had always remained the same, boyish and young in spite of several summers and winters. Whenever the storm had threatened to tear everything they had built apart, Vegard had put his faith in that smile. It had always worked out.

As he sat huddled up inside of the tent, his expression was wistful and reminiscent. The temperature had dropped even lower, now biting into the exposed flesh of his hands.

_“Wear the jacket, Bård,” he commanded, holding out the bright blue piece of clothing. His brother, nine years old and about as stubborn as a mule, gave him a long look. He crossed his arms over his chest and said: “No”._

_“Why’s that?” Vegard sighed, realising that it would be another one of those days._

_Bård lowered his gaze at the question. “Don’t want to…” he muttered and turned the door knob, determined to go outside in nothing but a relatively thin sweater. Vegard put his hand on the shorter boy’s shoulder, stopping him dead in his tracks. “You will catch a cold,” he warned him, but Bård was heedless that day. He rolled his shoulder, forcing the hand away, and he hurried outside and towards the bus stop._

_Vegard put on his own jacket and followed the boy, annoyed with him for being such a bratty kid._

_During the midday break, Vegard had gone outside with a couple of his mates, discussing videogames and whatnot. They stood with their backs against the fence, watching the school yard with mild interest._

_“Hey, Vegard, isn’t that your brother over there?” one of his mates, Anders, asked him. He nodded in direction of the climbing tree, and sure enough, a blonde head peeked out from behind the trunk. The lithe body was shivering from the bitter cold, his eyes shifting nervously from Vegard and back to his boots._

_Vegard swore angrily under his breath and marched towards the tree, his eyes dark and yet filled with something tender._

_“Bård,” he thundered, causing the trembling child to flinch. “I told-“_

_“I know,” the blonde whispered back, not daring to meet his eyes. “I’m sorry, Vegard.”_

_The anger in Vegard’s eyes melted into sympathy. “Let’s get you warmed up,” he whispered and removed his own jacket, dark green in colour, and he handed it to Bård. The boy simply stared at him for a couple of seconds, not sure whether to accept it or not._

_“You’ll be cold,” he argued, his teeth now chattering with cold._

_“I’ll be fine,” he said and helped his younger brother with the jacket. “There.”_

_Bård looked as if deeply ashamed by what had happened, his cheeks red and his eyes filled with unshed tears. “I-I…” he said and then looked behind him, as if to make sure that no one could hear or see them. “Markus and the others said… they said…”_

_Vegard lifted a brow. “They told you what, Bård?”_

_A moment of silence followed. Bård nibbled on his lower lip, his eyes still on the ground. “They said my jacket was gay… and then… Markus, he pushed me,” the younger boy whispered. The admittance caused a momentary flare of anger in Vegard’s face, his jaw clenching. In just that moment, the bell rang and recess was over. All the pupils scurried towards the school entrance, including Vegard’s friends. Anders sent him an odd look as he passed the two brothers._

_“… We’ll talk more about this later,” Vegard said, his tone final. “Get inside. Wear my jacket for the rest of the day. Okay?”_

_Bård only dared to nod, his eyes huge and fearful. “Okay.”_

_They never did speak of that incident ever again. Vegard hadn’t made it to the bus stop in time to reach their bus after school, and the next day, Markus hadn’t even dared to look in Bård’s direction._

The dark-haired man was awake by sunrise. His complexion was paler than normal, almost ashen, and there were dark circles underneath his eyes. He tried to eat, but could only take a few sips out of his coffee, his appetite non-existent. As he sat there, body still trembling a bit, he gave his phone a final glance before tossing it away. He put out the fire and crawled back into the tent and searched for something in his rucksack. In the end, he fished out a small notepad and a pencil and stashed them away in a pocket. After this, he rolled up his sleeping bag and put all the worn clothes back into the rucksack.

About ten minutes later, Vegard stepped outside the tent once more and looked around the camp, his expression somewhat bewildered. He mouthed something to himself, a deep frown etched into his forehead. His eyes landed on something, and he walked towards the object of interest on wobbly legs.  

His rifle rested against a tree. Vegard picked it up and began wandering into the woods, creating distance between himself and the safety of the camp. After a few hours, he couldn’t have returned even if he had wanted to. All the trees behind him looked similar and there wasn’t a path anymore, only raw and unprocessed wilderness. If he weren’t so determined in his steps, one would have assumed that he was lost.

Vegard had walked for hours on end when he finally collapsed on the forest floor, chest heaving and lungs fighting for every intake of oxygen. He coughed and it sounded as if his chest was slowly being torn apart from the inside. He rolled to his side, spitting out blood. At that point, he knew he had pneumonia and he didn’t even care. Once he was on his stomach, he pulled out the notepad and began scribbling down something. The effort took all his remaining energy, and when he had finished writing, he stashed the note away in what had been his water bottle. He didn’t know if they would be able to recover his remains, but if they did, there would be a note waiting for them – for _him_.

Vegard closed his eyes and fell asleep with the rifle pressed against his chest. He didn’t know whether he would wake up again or not, but he silently prayed for the night to devour him. It would have been a peaceful departure.

_“What are you doing?”_

_“… Uh,” Vegard muttered. His cheeks were bright red and he lowered his gaze, not wanting to explain his mindless action. He had carved their names into the tree, and he had put a heart around it. Bård gave him a questioning look, but upon seeing his brother blush so wildly, he couldn’t help but to crack a smile._

_“Jeez, Vegard. You’re such a girl,” he said and rolled his eyes. Even so, he hadn’t seen Vegard do anything quite so romantic before, the two of them being too macho to openly display their affection. It was perhaps the only reason they had been able to keep it a secret for so long._

_“Five years, Bård,” he whispered and offered his brother a shy and somewhat apologetic smile._

_They were at the cabin again. The small building had become their sanctuary – a place for them to be together without the interference of nosy friends or parents._

_“Well, I’ve been your brother for twenty-two years,” he said and rolled his eyes, attempting to conceal his emotions. If he were to speak freely, he would have admitted that he felt moved by the childish declaration of love. It was, in its simplicity and mindlessness, the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. “Think of all the years we’ve got left… I mean, mum and dad have been together for centuries. Just picture it – the two of us, old and grey and…” Bård faltered, his cheeks bright pink in colour._

_Vegard smiled tenderly at his brother’s nervousness. He put the knife back into the sheath and then hugged his baby brother, resting his cheek against the mane of unruly blonde waves. The familiar scent of the apple shampoo Bård preferred made him feel more at ease._

_“I know I don’t say it enough…” he whispered against his scalp, resulting in strands of Bård’s hair clinging to his tongue. “But I love you… you’re everything… and there isn’t a thing I wouldn’t have done for you.”_

_The words rendered Bård speechless, and he found himself blushing intensely. Unable to return the beautiful words of love, he turned his head so that their foreheads were touching. Bård cupped Vegard’s cheek in his hand and kissed him deeply – kissed him as he never kissed him before. The gesture spoke all those words he couldn’t bear to say, feeling that he would dissolve upon uttering them._

_“Can’t breathe without you,” Bård whispered breathlessly as they parted for air, and then they delved into the depths again, their lips crashing together, tongues dancing an erratic dance of passion. Vegard clung onto his younger brother more tightly, knotting his hands in blonde locks, trying to tell, with the press of his mouth on Bård’s, all the things he couldn’t tell him out loud. Both of them knew._

Vegard cracked his eyes open. The moon hung above him, providing him with some light. It didn’t matter – he was outnumbered by tall, looming trees that wouldn’t let him escape. They wanted him.

He tried to move his frozen body from the ground, but it was impossible. Every limb felt as if it weighed a ton, and he was burning up, shivering uncontrollably, hot cold sweat draining from his flesh. He whimpered and then began coughing up bloodstained fluid. Being alive and awake was a world of pain, pain that would have forced salty drops out of his eyes he hadn’t been so dehydrated and drained.

For a long moment, Vegard simply stared into the vast sea above him – the stars winking playfully at him, asking him to come and join them. He had worn no gloves and could no longer feel his fingers. If someone had found and saved him, his fingers and toes would most likely be lost. It wasn’t an opportunity. The trees wouldn’t have it, keeping him hidden from the world.

He thought about Bård - imagined his smiling face. If only he could have heard that sweet, teasing voice one last time, and if only he could have run his fingers through velvety hair and smelled the scent of that cheap apple shampoo.

His fingers were still clutching onto the rifle, and he managed to manoeuvre it so that the mouth of the barrel touched his lips. The kiss was cold and unforgiving – so far from the sight that met his eyes. For the briefest moment, he wondered if blue eyes were searching the same sky for all the answers. He opened his mouth, granting the barrel access, and he pushed it slightly upwards. The last thing on his mind before pulling the trigger was Bård’s cheeky smile and playful eyes.

A gunshot echoed through the trees, heard only by the woods and the animals that resided within it.

_The night had brought them a deep and comforting silence. All that could be heard was the crackle of the campfire, the buzz of insects and the musical chirping of grasshoppers. Vegard put down another log of firewood, inwardly chuckling at the look of misery on Bård’s face. He was rubbing his arms with mitten clad hands, attempting to warm up again. His older brother had mercilessly pushed him into a puddle of disgustingly brown melt water. Bård was of course a completely innocent victim in this foul play, and he absolutely hadn’t thrown any snowballs at Vegard whatsoever._

_“This is fucking lame,” he muttered, watching as the flames licked away at the new log. “How the fuck did you convince me that this would be even remotely enjoyable?”_

_Vegard merely smiled in return, not the least bit bothered by his sulking brother. “I didn’t. You said the army doesn’t know ‘shit’ about survival, and I challenged you. And as far as I can tell, I’m not the one sulking here.”_

_Bård huffed, annoyed by how composed his brother seemed. He moved a bit closer to the fire, but his face soon became too warm, almost painfully so, and his back was still icy cold._

_“Maybe if you had put on the jacket I gave you,” Vegard hummed. “You wouldn’t be so cold.”_

_Bård glared at him, willing his eyes to pierce through his thick skull. “Maybe if you hadn’t pushed me into that puddle,” he said, feeling a bit frustrated. “Dickhead…”_

_The dark-haired one allowed for the crude remark to pass unnoticed, well aware that his younger brother would become moody whenever things didn’t work out the way he had imagined. At the same time, Vegard was in a good mood and wouldn’t let Bård spoil it by being a brat. “Bård, stop acting like such a kid and come here,” he offered, patting the empty space next to him on the mossy log. For a long time, Bård just stared at him, debating with himself whether it was worth it or not. In the end, he went along with it._

_“Come here,” Vegard whispered when he saw that Bård was hesitant, obviously due to his stubbornness. As soon as he was seated next to Vegard on the log, the older man moved his arm around his middle, warm and comforting. In seconds, Bård’s body moulded to his brother’s, sharing his body heat. With a sigh of relief, the younger brother leaned his head against the short man’s chest, finally feeling his body starting to thaw up again._

_“Look at that,” Vegard said after some time. Bård gazed upwards into the starlit night sky that blanketed the heavens above, his blue eyes marvelling at the sight. “It’s different from the city,” he muttered, watching in silent awe. Even the littlest stars were visible. “It’s due to light pollution,” Vegard pointed out, causing the blonde to roll his eyes. “I’m not stupid, Vegard.”_

_“Just blonde,” Vegard retorted with an amused chuckle. Bård elbowed him in the side, though only hard enough for him to feel it through his thick, grey winter jacket._

_“I didn’t bring you here to prove a point,” Vegard whispered, voice muffled against Bård’s mane. “I just… I wanted to share this with you, you know? When you were younger…” he sighed. “You never wanted to come with me. I think you were afraid… of the dark, maybe?”_

_Bård didn’t respond to the question. He had never been overly fond of the vast woodlands, having felt as if the trees wanted to lure him into captivity. He had always been afraid that he’d lose Vegard and that he’d get lost._

_“Thank you,” he simply whispered, eyes still glued to the stars. “For bringing me, y’know…”_

_Bård shifted a bit and then turned his head just enough to press a tender kiss against Vegard’s lips. The older brother smiled into the kiss, somewhat pleased with himself for having made Bård forget about the cold._

_“I have something for you,” Vegard whispered and was swift to fish something out of his pocket. He held up his hand, presenting a tiny gift box, obviously from a jeweller’s shop and undoubtedly expensive. While he wanted to protest, to say that he shouldn’t spend money on him, he couldn’t hold back his smile._

_“It’s… it’s nothing too grand,” the curly-haired one muttered, a bit embarrassed with himself. The small box was snatched from his grasp and the lid opened with the curiosity of a child. Bård’s already huge grin only widened as he studied the gleaming silver ring. The inscription nearly brought tears to his eyes, recognising the words as the purest declaration of love he could have received from Vegard._

_“… ‘I can’t breathe without you’,” he read aloud and smiled, though it was a tiny smile. The dark-haired man could see tears shining in those beautiful blue eyes, causing him to swallow, a bit nervous to reveal his own emotional state. He had only cried in front of Bård a handful of times. It never got any easier._

_“Happy fifteenth anniversary, Bård,” he whispered instead and then captured his lips with his own, rejoicing at the familiar taste of mint and then something else – something that was entirely Bård. When he eventually broke the kiss, he stared into his older brother’s eyes, watching him with a gleeful expression on his beautiful face._

_“I didn’t even remember that,” the blonde admitted, but his brother offered him no reply. He hadn’t expected for Bård to remember and couldn’t have cared less – not when they were so close. Words were suddenly superfluous, and Vegard leaned down and kissed him once more, his mouth lingering on Bård’s, teeth grazing his lower lip. Bård melted into that kiss, his worries long since forgotten. The only thing on his mind right then and there was how happy he was to be with the man he loved above all other things, even if it was bloody cold outside._

 

A huntsman had discovered an abandoned camp in the middle of the woodland. Upon the discovery of a phone and a wallet, the man was worried about the fate of the owner of the items. His hunting dog picked up on the scent and after hours of walking, they stumbled upon a partially eaten human body. Pieces of skull fragments, brain and blood wreathed his head like a grotesque halo, the rifle still resting against his chest. The huntsman could however identify the man as the comedian who had gone missing a couple of weeks prior – Vegard Ylvisåker – and he had immediately called the police. They told him not to touch anything, but that he should meet them by the road and guide them to the location.

The man was about to leave the horrid scene behind when he stumbled over a cola bottle. There was a note inside. Curiosity got the best of him, and he unfolded the piece of paper and read the sparse sentence: _“I can’t breathe without you”_ in unsteady handwriting.

**Author's Note:**

> A second chapter will be added to explain the backstory : ) as always, comments are very appreciated.


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